倪小明香腸國日記

For chinese, please look below (中文請往下)

Knowing my best friend Bay was coming to Europe, I was more than excited to see her. They say the Schengen Visa would be lifted for the Taiwanese early this year, so she didn't bother to apply for a visa before leaving Taiwan.  The plan was, stay in UK for half year, wait for the visa free situation, and the come to Germany and visit me.

The EU forgot about this proposal, or whatsoever, anyways it's posponded. Yeah, that's the european way, how can I blame them. Anyways, she's in UK, and can't come over, so I'll have to go over.

Booked a Ryanair 3 euro ticket and flew in for just 2 days, since I don't have lectures on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Laughed, talked, Gossiped, ate, it wasn't my first time in London, but it was still an enjoying first day. The next day we got up late, and decided to go picknicking in that beautiful weather.

On the way to the park, we passed by a breakfast place. Suddenly I wanted so much to have scrambled eggs, so we decided to change the plan. The eatery was small, simple with half tile walls, it reminded me of the Hong Kong tea restaurants. We ordered a breakfast set each, and sat down at a tiny table outside facing the sidewalk and sun.

We talked and ate, and someone mentioned hashbrowns. We both couldn't resist the desire to have a proper british hashbrown, so I ordered an extra hashbrown for us to share, just to taste.

A woman walked by, looked at our breakfast.

"Can I have that?" She said, pointing at our freshly made hashbrown.

I refused.

"I'm starving." She said.

I felt sorry for her, but I didn't order this extra hashbrown just to give away, so I said:

"We just ordered this extra, we can't give it to you." By the way, if she's really starving, why wouldn't she just ask for anything on the table?

"But I'm hungry!" She became a bit angry.

"No." I was unhappy with her attitude. Actually I wanted to say I'm starving too, please leave and let me dig in.

She left, I cut the hastbrown into two halves and had it. It was a real hashbrown, one could taste the potatos, not like the ones in Taiwan. I guess England has the talent for making junk food.

A few minutes later, the woman came back, starred at my already bitted sausage, and said to me:

"Can you give me your sausage?"

"No!" If she would act polite ask for any sort of food, I might think about giving her some toast, but definitely not the sausage I bit on and left aside to save for later.

"I want it!" Then she grabbed my sausage with her bare hands. Even being shocked, I grabbed her wrist and was determined not to let her get away with my half-sausage.

Bay was shocked, looked at both of us fighting for a half-sausage. I looked at her dirty hands, thought I'm not going to eat that sausage even if she lets go, but she's not going to get what she wants. She was struggling to get away, maybe also surprised that I would grab onto her for a half-sausage. I kept repeating, "How can you do something like this????" A tug of war over a half-sausage. We attracted attention.

Eventually she ran away, the shop keeper came out to see what happened. I told him someone robbed my sausage, he turned and whistled at her, but of course she didn't stop.

Bay and I looked at each other, still couldn't believe what just happened. "Your visit let me see things in my neighborhood that I would never see myself" She said.

I answered, "That....was.......odd. We just got robbed. The lost: half a sausage. It wasn't cutten in half, it was bitten in half. Disugusting. Maybe she thought I'd eat like the other Brits. Half a sausage!"

好友Bay訪歐，原訂先去英國，再等申根免簽來德國玩。申根免簽的提案被延後，Bay只能留在英國，申根簽證又一定要在居住地申請，於是只好我去倫敦找她。

趁Ryanair的單程三歐優惠，我訂了一張機票飛往倫敦，但有事所以只能待兩天。第一天很愉快，吃吃喝喝說說笑笑就過去了。第二天天氣很好，我們起床以後決定要去野餐，於是整裝出門，步行去附近的公園。

路上經過一家早餐店，我忽然很想吃炒蛋，於是改變計畫去早餐店享用早餐。早餐店小小的，很簡單，牆上有磁磚，桌椅和整家店的感覺令人想到港式茶餐廳。莫非茶餐廳就是仿照英國的小食店？

我們各點了一個套餐，選了外面面對人行道和陽光的位置坐了下來。不知誰提起了英國的薯餅很好吃，抵擋不住嘴饞，又進去單點了一個薯餅。

吃著吃著，一個女人路過，看著我們剛端上來的薯餅，於是指著我們的薯餅說：「給我那個好嗎？」

我拒絕了，單點薯餅又不是為了給她吃。

「我很餓」她說。

我解釋：「我們才剛剛特地點了這個薯餅，所以不能給妳。」真的餓的話，何必指定要那個金黃香脆的薯餅呢？應該是任何食物都可以吧？

「可是我真的很餓！」她口氣不太高興

「不行！」我惱了，說不給就是不給。老娘也很餓呀！

她離開了，我把薯餅切成一人一半，和Bay兩人一起吃掉了。薯餅真是好吃，有馬鈴薯的原味，跟台灣的一點也不一樣。真不愧是英國，果然專長做垃圾食物。

幾分鐘之後，女人回來了。她指著我那吃到一半的香腸說，「可以給我那根香腸嗎？」

我有點不高興，很確切地說：「不可以！」如果她有點禮貌且不指定食物，也許我還會考慮給她片土司。但我香腸是咬了一口放在旁邊，打算等下要繼續吃的，怎麼能給她。

她竟一把抓起了我的香腸。我嚇了一大跳，又沒有說要給她，她怎麼可以自己拿？情急之下抓住她的手腕，絕不讓她得手。

Bay也很震驚，看著我們兩個搶那半根香腸。我看著她的髒手，心裡盤算，就算她放手，我應該也不敢吃了吧，可是怎麼能讓她為所欲為？女人掙扎著要逃，可能也有點訝於我會跟她搶。我不停地重複說：「那有人這個樣子的？」為了半根香腸而拔河。我們引起了其他人的注意。

最後她跑掉了，老闆出來問是怎麼回事。「有人搶了我的香腸！」我不可置信地說。他轉身對她吹口哨，但她當然不曾停下。

我和Bay面面相覷，都無法相信剛才發生了什麼事。「妳的來訪讓我看到我平常看不到的東西。」她對我說。

我回答，「這....太....奇怪了。我們被搶了。損失是半根香腸。不是切半的，是咬成一半的。也許她以為我吃東西像其他英國人那樣，會把肉切開才放進嘴巴。半根香腸！！！」